lamer than lame

i just got back from a week in new orleans for work. they sent me there for experienced attorney training, where we learned absolutely nothing and ended up eating like crap and staying out late every night. it was awful. don't get me wrong - it was amazing to see all of my old sf and dc friends, but being away from soren for that long was SO hard. jim came in on thursday, which helped a lot, but by saturday morning, we were done. we missed the little guy so much we changed our flights and came home a day early.

i have now proven to myself that i am (as i have suspected and joked about for the last 6 months) lamer than lame. before soren arrived, i was going out to great restaurants and bars, spending most of my free time with friends, shopping, and always planning our next vacation. i don't think a month went by that we didn't have some trip planned or someplace to go. now my idea of a good time is hanging out at home, going to home depot and lowe's to do house stuff, and (if we venture out for food) an early bird special at some noisy restaurant where soren can't cause a scene.

pretty lame, huh? i never would've imagined it. but i am so glad. our lives are so much more full now that he is in them. i've learned more about myself than i could ever learn traveling the world. i now feel closer to jim than i ever imagined. and i really think it is all because of soren. someone asked me how it felt to be away from soren during the training. the only way i could describe it was to say that soren is like air to me. i know it sounds so dramatic, but i feel as if i need him to survive. that i can't really take a breath unless he is around. that there is something so fundamental missing if he is gone. i guess he always was, since i carried him for the 9 months, but he really has become part of me. soren truly has been the best thing to ever happen to us. if lameness is the price i have to pay, so be it.